Why Lil Nas X thought he was going to die in 2018
Lil Nas X had a quick rise to fame in a very short amount of time, and in 2018, he shot up the ranks of hip-hop from an unknown Atlanta emcee to a country rap star. However, he had a few concerns when he first burst onto the scene.
The emcee’s breakout tune, ‘Old Town Road,’ became a viral smash on TikTok in December 2018. By the new year, the Montero creator was collaborating with country music icon Billy Ray Cyrus, who joined Lil Nas on the remix of the track, which boosted the song’s success. However, Lil Nas X didn’t think that he would get to see the fruits of his labour.
Although the collaboration got certified 15 times platinum and sold over 15million copies following his rise to superstardom, the ‘Panini’ lyricist had a premonition that he was on death’s door.
During an interview for Apple Music, Lil Nas X explained how, despite his happiness, he was sure death was right around the corner. Opening up about this, the emcee told host Zane Lowe, “The entire time I was making music, I thought soon I was going to die for some reason. I lost my grandmother [in 2018], and it was the first person that was close to me that I had ever lost. I was like, ‘Oh my God, everything is building up.'”
He continued, “And then, especially when fucking ‘Old Town Road’ blew up, I was like, ‘Oh, I’m definitely dying soon’. All of these artists that were starting to pop into the music industry were passing away. I was like, ‘What the fuck is happening?’ I guess I tried to ignore it until it went away. And then that’s when I found belief in the universe, for sure. And I was like, “Oh my God, I’m really not alone in this.””
The lyricist explained that music, was somewhat cathartic for him adding, “That’s another thing music was for me though. It was something I love, but it was also a distraction from those thoughts. It’s like, oh, those thoughts, here’s the song guys.”
The album that followed this struggle, Montero, was released in 2021 and saw Lil Nas X at his most vulnerable. On the project, he opened up about the emotional struggles he had faced in the past and was honest about depression and suicidal thoughts he experienced after finding fame.
The album featured hit singles such as ‘Montero (Call Me By Your Name)’ and ‘Industry Baby’ featuring Jack Harlow. The latter became his third number-one hit in only two short years.
That said, since then, he has progressed and has gone on to achieve great things. In January this year, the emcee released his HBO Max documentary Lil Nas X: Long Live Montero, which saw him get candid about his sexuality, and later that month, he released his controversial single ‘J Christ’.