The first and last time Kendrick Lamar let himself cry
Kendrick Lamar has never been much of a crier and didn’t let himself properly feel his emotions until he was an adult. In fact, the first time he embraced crying was in front of all his fans and some legends of hip-hop.
In 2011, during a live performance, Kendrick was passed the torch of West Coast rap by Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg, Kurupt, Warren G, Daz Dillinger and The Game. Speaking over a decade later, Kendrick, who notably cried on stage, revealed that was the first time he teared up. He was 24 at the time.
“The first time I allowed it to happen is documented, actually, on stage when [Dr] Dre and Snoop [Dogg] and the whole West Coast was out, and they was like, ‘This is the torch that we were handing off.'” he told SZA for Harper’s Bazaar. “Dre passed me the torch, and a burst of energy just came out and I had to let it flow.”
Looking back at that video, Kendrick isn’t ashamed of bearing his emotions. “My tears is all on the internet. And now I look back and I love that moment. I love that that happened,” he said. “Because it showed me in real time expressing myself and seeing all the work that I put forth actually come to life in that moment.”
On the opposite side, Kendrick revealed that the last time he cried was while recording the song ‘Mother I Sober’ from his 2022 album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. “I would say the last time I cried was probably on Mr. Morale on the ‘Mother I Sober’ record,” he said. “That shit was deep for me.”
In the confessional song, Kendrick confronts his trauma by describing his mother’s experience with sexual abuse and his lust addiction. He opens up about cheating on his fiancé and seeing the same actions as his mother’s abuser.
He raps, “Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties/ I heard it all, I should’ve grabbed a gun, but I was only five/ I still feel it weighin’ on my heart, my first tough decision/ In the shadows clingin’ to my soul as my only critic.”
A video surfaced in 2022 of a security guard wiping away tears at one of Kendrick’s concerts. During an interview, the rapper responded to the clip, stating that his intention while making music is to make people feel something.
“It’s really just about the feeling of it,” he told Jazzy’s World TV. “At the end of the day, past all the politics, past all the numbers, it’s what music makes you feel, how it makes you feel. So to see that , and shout out to him, by the way, ’cause I see him, bro. I was like, ‘Man, I wonder what he’s going through.’
“But at the end of the day, that’s how you want everybody to receive your music and, you know, make them feel good, make them feel like a moment they’re attached to, it could live forever.”