The moment Jay-Z found out his mother was a lesbian: “I really cried”
Jay-Z‘s mother went most of her life as a closeted lesbian. Hov first revealed the fact on ‘Smile’, one of many soul-bearing songs on 2017’s 4:44 album. On the track, the ’99 Problems’ rapper opens up about her struggles in keeping her sexuality a secret.
In the first verse, Jay touches on Gloria Carter hiding her true self because of the world she grew up in. He also clarifies that he doesn’t care if she’s with a man or woman as long as she’s happy and living her truth.
He raps, “Mama had four kids, but she’s a lesbian/ Had to pretend so long that she’s a thespian/ Had to hide in the closet, so she medicate/ Society shame and the pain was too much to take/ Cried tears of joy when you fell in love/ Don’t matter to me if it’s a him or her/ I just wanna see you smile through all the hate/ Marie Antoinette, baby, let ‘em eat cake.”
During an interview with David Letterman on My Next Guest Needs No Introduction, Jay-Z spoke more about crying tears of joy when she sat him down to tell her that she was gay. “Imagine having to live your life as someone else and you think you’re protecting your kids,” he said. “For her to sit in front of me and tell me ‘I think I love someone,’ I really cried… I cried because I was so happy for her that she was free.”
The day after, he recorded ‘Smile’. While he suspected her sexuality before, it hit deep for her to have that conversation with him and reveal that she had fallen in love with a woman. Even still, he could tell she was nervous about saying it out loud.
“I knew but this was the first time we had the conversation,” he said. “And the first time I heard her say she loved her partner. Like, ‘I feel like I love somebody.’ But she said: ‘I feel like,’ she held that little bit back still. She didn’t say: ‘I’m in love.’ She said: ‘I feel like I love someone.’ And I cried. I don’t even believe in crying because you’re happy, I don’t even know what that is. What is that?”
While speaking on the D’Usse Friday Podcast, Gloria recalled the moment they had the conversation. “I was sitting there, and I was telling him one day – I just finally started telling him who I was,” she said. “Besides your mother, this is the person that I am, you know? This is the life that I lived.
“So my son started actually, like, tearing [up] because he was like: ‘That had to be a horrible life, Ma.’ I was like: ‘My life was never horrible. It was just different.’ So that made him want to do a song about it.”
Gloria, now 75, married Roxanne Wiltshire, her longtime partner, in a July 2023 ceremony in New York City. Jay-Z, Beyoncé, and their eldest daughter, Blue Ivy, attended the wedding, as did Bey’s mother, Tina Knowles, and fellow Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland.