Eve reveals fame her fame led to anxiety and a mental breakdown
Several female rappers have etched themselves into the hip-hop history books, and Eve is undoubtedly an emcee who profoundly impacted the culture. As part of the Ruff Ryders collective alongside DMX and The LOX, Eve first exploded onto the scene in 1999 when she released her debut project, Let There Be Eve…Ruff Ryders’ First Lady.
The debut project spawned various hits such as ‘What Ya Want,’ ‘Love Is Blind’ and ‘Gotta Man’ and debuted at number one on the Billboard 200 and by 2000 was certified double-platinum by the RIAA.
However, Eve’s journey to fame wasn’t easy. The Philadelphia lyricist decided to pursue music for the first time after a chance encounter with New York legend Ma$e. She built a fanbase on the East Coast and her traction caught the attention of Dr Dre, who signed her to Aftermath. She collaborated with DMX while on the label but was strangely dropped.
Despite this, her work with DMX and appearance on It’s Dark And Hell Is Hot caught the eye of Joaquin Dean, and she was quickly picked up by DMX’s label Ruff Ryders and from there, she never looked back. Still, it wasn’t long before the limelight took its toll on the ‘Blow Your Mind’ rhymer.
Speaking about the climate of hip-hop in the 1990s compared to now, Eve once told The Guardian, “There definitely weren’t a lot of females out there, and the labels were basically trying to make you get naked. But with Ruff Ryders, it was always: ‘We like who you are, we’re not going to try and change you.’”
Although she was comfortable at Ruff Ryders, the fame was overwhelming for Eve, and it caused her to feel so unwell at one point that she became convinced she had a tumour. During a 2010 episode of Behind The Music, Eve explained, “It was six months of my life and me trying to get back to being myself. I had headaches and chest pain, to the point where I made a doctor give me an MRI because I thought I absolutely had a tumour. It was anxiety that I didn’t know. I was having crazy panic attacks.”
The music industry is more than demanding and is one of the most cutthroat industries. Facing all of this as a woman in a male-dominated industry, it wasn’t long before stress turned into a complete breakdown.
Disclosing how much the conniving nature of the industry shook her, Eve recalled, “I cried hysterically for hours. [I was thinking], ‘How am I not happy?’ I lost my happiness. I broke down, literally. Literally broke down. When I finally did break down, I had no one to talk to because they all had an agenda. Even at that time, I think I kinda pushed my mom away.”
Following all of this, the ‘Gotta Man’ rapper took herself to Florida for two months and rehabilitated herself. She confirmed that it was good for her in the long run, concluding, “I was clearing out some of my life, friends… getting away from my relationship at that time… I did a lot of soul searching, a lot of praying.”